Habits that actually help

Life can be complex and difficult – the problems and experiences of it are way beyond the scope of this post. Instead, here are eight recommended habits that can actually help you.

These are broken down into their most simple form for ease of reading and ease of starting. 


1) Make your bed – Admiral Willaim McRaven
The premise is simple – each morning after you get out of your bed, make it. Simplicity wins out in this situation. As Admiral McRaven states himself, by doing this you start the day with a task completed. The added bonus? You get to come home to a made bed every night.


I only started doing this consistently in my final year of High School, but I definitely came to appreciate it – and the sense of accomplishment it gives at both the start and end of the day.


2) Stand up straight with your shoulders back – Jordan Peterson
Jordan Peterson dedicates an entire chapter to this topic in his best-selling book, 12 Rules for Life. While he goes far more in-depth, explaining the biological reasons and why we are pretty much lobsters, I’ll keep it simple: It gives you confidence.


The majority of communication in day-to-day life is non-verbal. You want to communicate correctly. Standing up straight with your shoulders back will help release serotonin, and gives you an aura of confidence. Not only is it better for your spine – good body language has been linked to success in many careers.


3) Clean your room – Jordan Peterson
Your room is a reflection of you as a person. It reflects your mental state. It reflects your personality. Those should be reasons enough to keep it clean – but if not, do it for hygiene reasons… I mean come on guys.


A benefit of making your bed every morning is that it shows how dirty the rest of your room is. So: Clear your desk. Washing in the wash basket. Put the rubbish in the bin. Tidy your shelves. Clear your bedside tables. Simplicity wins once again.


4) Read Daily (or listen to podcasts) 
Your brain is the engine of your body. Fuel it. Read great books. Read great blogs. Listen to great podcasts. Listen to great speeches or TED talks. 


Whatever you choose, it’s bound to have a better pay off than Instagram Videos or Netflix Binges. Feed your mind. Fuel your future. And if you want bonus points: take action on what you’re learning.


5) Journal Daily
I started Journalling when I was 13. I still have the leather-bound journal I picked up for $15 at the shops. Inside that book, I can see my struggles, my innermost thoughts, my experiences (Ranging from my first dates to the first time a close friend passed away.) 


The Journal provides me with motivation – seeing how far I have come and how much I endured. I will be able to pull passages from it to reflect for the rest of my life. And it’s pretty cool to have a few books filled with your life story on your bookshelf.


Beyond that, it provides me with clarity. I am always doing my best – both emotionally and mentally – when I have been journaling. There is something undervalued about bleeding through ink onto paper. 


So start journaling. Get a book or use a website like Penzu or even just the notes on your phone. But whatever you choose – get started.


6) Exercise
Just keep moving. Mental health and physical health are constantly proved to be linked. Pick up a book if you want to (The Four Hour Body is great) or just keep it simple.


Play a sport. Run. Swim. Lift weights. Go for walks. Doesn’t matter. Keep moving – your mind and body will thank you for it.


7) 10 Ideas a day list – James Altucher
This simple practice has kept me creative. It’s provided me with a cache of thousands of ideas (ranging from businesses to start, to books to write, to people to meet, to self-experiments to try) that I can call upon whenever I’m feeling stuck. 


Several months ago I wrote in my journal, complaining about a lack of ideas, it was around that time that I decided to double-down on this exercise – doing it twice a day, every day. I now have more ideas than I know what to do with. I now have a time problem, not an idea problem.


The ideas don’t have to be good ones – you can throw the list out when you’re done. But just get in the habit of writing these lists. You’ll surprise yourself.


8) Eat Better 
We all know the foods we should eat – and the ones we shouldn’t. I’m not saying go Cold Turkey. If you’re not in control of the food at your house or your put in the position where it’s just easier to eat poorly, it’s quite hard to eat healthily – and you certainly shouldn’t stop eating.


Just keep it in mind when you’re eating. Get a salad instead of fries with your burger. Go for the small coke, not the large. Even better, Drink water over Coke. These changes may seem small but they compound. If you eat better at one meal each week, then within half a year you’ve cleaned up your diet. Consistency over intensity.


Bonus: Habits not to-do
1) Lie.
White lies can be harmless enough – and it’s probably best that you don’t go for radical honesty and just insult everyone you know. It’s the other lies that hurt.


The lies you tell yourself – about why you can’t succeed, about why you should give into temptation – these lies are the most dangerous.


The lies you tell the people you care most about – that you’re fine, that nothings wrong, that what they did is okay – they all create long-term damage at the cost of short-term salvation. Don’t do that. Tell the truth. Don’t let things build up.


2) Cheat.
Don’t cheat on the people you care about. This is in both the literal sense and the non-literal. Don’t tell them you’ll do something – and then don’t. Don’t tell them you’ll keep a secret – and then don’t. Don’t cheat them out of knowing how you feel. Don’t be a cheat.


Don’t cheat yourself. Odds are you know that you could be so much more but the world seems set on telling you that you can’t be. Friends, parents, teachers, everyone that should care – they say they only want what’s best for you. They think they do – but they have themselves to worry about. Don’t cheat yourself – work to fulfill your potential


3) Procrastinate.
We all procrastinate – it’s human nature to want to avoid discomfort. The problem really begins when we put off the things that we have been “meaning to do” or the things that we really should. This procrastination finds many forms: its not starting that business, not writing that book, not confessing your feelings, not pursuing your goals. We regret the things that we don’t do, more than the things that we do.


People will throw themselves into the unimportant, never taking action on the things that they care the most about – never taking care of their health, following their dreams, or spending time with their families. The Ghost of  the Person you could have been will be there at your Death Bed – do your best to minimise the difference.


4) Let others rule you.
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.


The people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter. A common expression but one that should be heeded. Our lives are short and can be made shorter by any cruel twist of fate. Don’t waste your time living someone else’s life.


A simple trick that I always find useful when someone is bothering me – be it a teacher or peer – is to ask myself: Would I hand my life over to this person? In other words, would I let this person control my destiny? The answer will be no. And if that’s the case, why care what they think? Each person has their own failings. Accept that if they’re focusing on yours – they’re trying to escape their own.

TETRIS as a way of life – life lessons from one of the best selling games of all time.

https://tetris.com/play-tetris

I always struggled with sleep. I can remember spending entire nights up – either unable to fall asleep or not wanting to – where I would watch movies or TV Shows, before either falling into a fitful sleep or having to force myself through a whole day without sleep.

Over time, my sleep patterns improved and my insomnia left. But I still had trouble falling asleep – spending hours a night tossing and turning, before I would finally blackout. Better than before but far from great.

This led me to try to play TETRIS before I went to sleep every night as a method of visual overwriting – a way to clear my mind. (A recommendation found in Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss.)

TETRIS worked – I was falling asleep faster and faster. As an added bonus: I loved the game. (So much so, that my Girlfriend even got me a mini-arcade version of the game.)

Beyond the fun of it and the way it improved my sleep, it also taught me a few things:

1 ) The easiest way to lose is to be waiting for a certain piece.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of watching your screen fill up piece by piece as you wait in vain for the one piece that would clear four lines. Except, when it doesn’t come, there’s never a way to win.

In life, most people are waiting for their certain piece – the right partner, the right job, the right opportunity – and they wait. and wait. and wait. Eventually, the years have stacked up on their screen and the game is over. They never asked that girl out. They never took that vacation to see the Northern Lights. They never started that business or wrote that book or learned to play guitar. They waited for a certain piece and it never came.

The solution? Keep your options open. I don’t want to say lower your standards – but at least lower your expectations. Perfection doesn’t exist. You won’t find the perfect partner or suddenly find yourself with enough spare time and willpower to pump out your manuscript. Make do with the pieces your given. You’ll be surprised – these tend to work out better than you would expect, possibly better than your perfect piece. Keeping your options open to eliminate the need for a perfect piece altogether.

2 ) The second easiest way to lose is to not be paying attention.

TETRIS is a ruthless douchebag of a game. One heartbeat you’re going for your high score, the next the screen declares Game Over. In TETRIS one slip-up compounds into another. The pieces pile up. Suddenly you need three ‘perfect’ pieces to survive. The pieces keep on piling up. The Game is over. You dropped the ball.

Taking your eyes off the screen for the shortest time, or not seeing the better move, or even the simplest slip of your fingers – these can all cost you the game.

Life isn’t very different. You miss a cry for help, or you trust the wrong person, or you forget about an obligation – these can all cost you dearly. You win by paying attention. You lose by not paying attention. That simple.

3 ) Solutions abound if you keep the game going long enough.

You have two lines to go until its Game Over. You keep clearing the second one until things fall right and you can clear the third, and then the fourth, and on and on and on. The screen that a moment ago was fitted with the bright pieces of defeat is now empty. You just need to watch the bottom line. You survived long enough for a solution. Congratulations.

The temptation to give in is easy. If it wasn’t, people wouldn’t end their lives, the wouldn’t give up on their goals, they wouldn’t leave a relationship without a fight, they wouldn’t abandon their business idea, the world wouldn’t be full of half-finished first drafts or vacant blogs.

You cannot help but wonder what would have happened if they had kept it together for just one more week, one more day, one more hour. Most people give up. Opportunity and solutions come to those who don’t.

You can overcome any obstacle – you just need to keep the game going.

4 ) There is no finish line. You win because you get to keep playing.

“Survival is triumph enough.” – Harry Crews (A quote I have had on my wall for a couple of years.)

Most people think that there are finish lines in life – points where you win and can call it a game, or where you lose and its over. They’re wrong. There is only one finish line – its called Death. Not in rush to get there? Me either.

Every day you approach that finish line – so when sh*t hits the fan, just that. It’s not over. The only finish line is Death. You’re going to reach it and so is everyone you love and admire. Keep playing while you can.

The pieces pile up and the screen will flash Game Over. You won’t get a second round. Enjoy the game while you can.

Additions to my 2020 Reading List

Additions to my 2020 Reading List

I’ve been able to get a lot of reading done in my travel to Uni and back and decided to add some more books to my list. I sent out messages to a few of my friends, and got the recommendations below, which I want to get through this year:

  • Turtles all the way down by John Green
  • I am number Four by Pittacus Lore
  • War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
  • Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
  • Dante’s Inferno
  • Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak
  • All the President’s man by Carl Bernstein
  • Watership down by Richard Adams
  • The Great Zoo of China by Matthew Reilly
  • Doctor Faustus by Christopher Marlow
  • Digital Fortress by Dan Brown
  • Princess Bride by William Goldman
  • Cinder by Marissa Meyer
  • The Curious Incident of the Dog in the night-time by Mark Haddon

I really look forward to reading these and having people to discuss them with.

There seems to be a great mix of books and it should keep me going to the end of the year – and if not, I’ll just have to ask for more recommendations.

Favourite quotes of 2019

I’ve already covered my favourite fiction books of 2019 – but I thought I’d post a few of my favourite quotes from them.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I mark up my non-fiction books and underline passages I like, so there’s way more than I could include here – so I’ve decided to just stick to the fiction.

Anyway, here we go:

“Man has come to dominate the planet thanks to two essential traits. One is intelligence. The other has been the absolute willingness to kill anyone and anything that gets in his way.” – Cell, Stephen King.

“Pick your enemies more carefully than your friends, they will be with you longer.” – Half a King, Joe Abercrombie.

“A book is a loaded gun in the house next door…Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man?” – Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury.

“The thing is – fear can’t hurt you any more than a dream.” – Lord of the Flies, William Goulding.

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” + “I don’t want to die without any scars.” – Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk (I couldn’t decide which one I liked more.)

“And the most terrifying question of all may be just how much horror the human mind can stand and still maintain a wakeful, staring, unrelenting sanity.” – Pet Semetary, Stephen King.

“You may wonder about long-term solutions. I assure you, there are none. All wounds are mortal. Take what’s given. You sometimes get a little slack in the rope but the rope always has an end. So what? Bless the slack and don’t waste your breath cursing the drop. A grateful heart knows that in the end we all swing.” – Skeleton Crew, Stephen King.

“Once you’ve got a task to do, it’s better to do it than live with the fear of it.” – The Blade Itself, Joe Abercrombie.

These barely scratch the surface of the quotes I liked – some for their meaning and others because of how well they were written (You can decide which was which.)

These post could be pages long, but I thought I’d keep it short and sweet.

My Favourite Non-fiction books of 2019

I stated in my last post, that I surpassed my goal of twenty-four books by ten – nineteen of those books were non-fiction, and below are the ones I enjoyed most:

Honourable Mentions:

Ray Kroc, Grinding it out (The memoir that inspired the movie, The Founder. Surprisingly, it was way more entertaining and dramatic than the film.)

Jesse Itzler, Living with a Seal

William H. McRaven, Make your bed

Derek Sivers, Anything you want. (I really liked this book and I love this author, but most of the information was practical advice on how to run a big/growing business, so I couldn’t really apply it – at least, not yet.)

Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Favourites (not in order):

Atomic Habits by James Clear –

I’ve read a few books on habits and personal development, but this one broke it down in the most practical way possible. I loved the simplicity of it, how through the power of compounding you could grow to reach any goal – the concept that underlies the way I’ve been laying out my sprints. If you want to get your habits together, or work towards important goals, Atomic Habits is a great book.

Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday –

Ryan Holiday is far and away, my favourite non-fiction author. Every year, I’ll preorder his new book and when it arrives, make it a priority to read. This book was his best yet. He provides practical insights into why Stillness is the key to everything – success, peace, health, all of it – and then gives actionable advice about how to Cultivate more Stillness in your life. I think this book is best if you want to gain some control over yourself and your circumstances.

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi –

I read the updated edition of this book, and it was packed to the brink with actionable advice. I have been making my way through the advice and trying to implement it, but there’s a lot – how to blog, how to create loyalty, how to cold call, etc. The best thing though, is that it doesn’t feel like information overload at all – each chapter is clean, precise and actionable. The author Keith Ferrazzi is arguably one of the most connected men in the world and getting to learn from his successes and failures felt like the ultimate cheat code / life hack.

The fish that ate the whale by Rich Cohen –

Samuel Zemurray genuinely rose from nothing, to become one of the wealthiest and powerful men in the world. Throughout the course of his life, he grew one of the worlds largest fruit companies, funded the invasion of several South American nations, led corporate coups and helped bankroll the foundation of Israel, amongst dozens of other things. I think there are few lives as interesting as his – and few with so many lessons, of both what to do and what not to do.

Man’s search for meaning by Viktor E. Frankl –

Like everyone who searches for meaning, I finally found my way to Frankl. Few books have ever moved me like this. His story of perseverance in the worst concentration camps in history, losing his family and wife in the Auschwitz death camp and still pushing on, in his search for meaning was unlike anything I had ever read. The ideas he puts forward on logotherapy, and how to find meaning in the world, have influenced my decision making and personal life ever since.

$100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau –

A much lighter tone than the book above, the $100 startup explored dozens of entrepreneurs and business owners who had launched their business for an extremely low amount (most for a hundred dollars or less). The book provided a call to arms, as well as countless panels of actual advice, for people to launch their own business and pursue the things that meant the most to them.

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins –

David Goggins is another story of someone who rose from nothing, endured countless years of abuse, and then turned into probably one of the most badass people to ever live. This book is his life story and explains how he has built himself to be a machine – pure discipline and fortitude -and how you can too. Reading this book puts an end to any excuses you may have had.

Kitchen Secrets Revealed by Barry Malone –

I don’t plan on renovating or building a kitchen anytime soon – but if I did, I would use this book. The author’s style and language made this book a great read and was ended well with a bloopers section at the back (more practical / non-fiction books should have these). The author himself is a living legend, and I’m looking forward to his next book – whatever it may be.

That’s all of them. These books were great, and my copies are all littered with notes and underlines. I’m hoping that I can continue to action on the advice provided and make myself better.